Shark Bytes

i'd say the shark came when they switched to the Christopher Lowell show and it was like a talk show with all these segments and junk... the reason I watched Christopher was to see what new decorating scheme he would come up with or specifically, what he would make, not sitting around talking. It was completely obvious that he was a set designer, but that made him innovative as a decorator as opposed to some that run out and buy so much unnecessary stuff. I don't know, I guess it was more doable.

My wife insisted I watch Interior Motives, which has now morphed into "The Christopher Lowell Show", because she wanted to see what I thought of the program. Aye Carumba! Shark! First of all, his method of decorating requires 7 steps. I'm still fuzzy on them, because after crown molding, paint, and up-lighting, it's too much for the common homeowner to remember, never mind utilize. There's no question the guy has a talent for redoing rooms, but the constant swishing around on the set, the femme skits, and the feng shui guests are unsettling. My favorite episode is when he was readying his house for entertaining, and set up boxes, paint cans, and other geometric objects on a table, then draped the whole shebang in fabric, stuck the food on the draped objects, added some flowers, and called it a "tablescape". Then he frantically raced to his piano and started belting out Broadway show tunes for his arriving guests. SHARK!

This show was a lot better than “The Christopher Lowell Show.” When it was “Interior Motives,” Christopher Lowell used to actually go down to the hardware store, buy some two-by-fours, cardboard cones, and glitter paint, and whip up something for the home you could try to make yourself, if you wanted to. Of course, the shit he made was always cheap and hideous, but the show was fun to watch in the kind of gonzo, give-me-four-dollars-and-some-rubber-bands-and-I’ll-make-you-eight-sconces kind of way that “Trading Spaces” often achieves. (And the stuff on that show is usually cheap and hideous too.) He’d even put on deliriously campy skits once in a while. (You haven’t lived till you’ve seen Christopher Lowell play a butch plumber.) “The Christopher Lowell Show,” on the other hand, is just “Martha Lite.” He doesn’t do anything himself (even monstrous Martha isn’t above getting her hands dirty), he just tours homes that professionals have decorated. It’s really boring. Anyway, the episode of “Interior Motives” I wanted to talk about is one where Christopher Lowell had his parents on. They seemed like a perfectly normal, late-middle-aged middle-American couple. The weird thing is, Christopher Lowell’s father kept referring to him as “Richard,” and then correcting himself. It was surreal—he would say, “I remember how proud we were of Richard when he was in high school . . . uh, Christopher, I mean.” Christopher Lowell just sat there ho-ho-ing heartily with a rictus grin on his face, as if to say, “How hilarious it is that my own father doesn’t know my name!” Is it? It seems sort of creepy to me, Christie. Anyway, this happened TWICE! I never understood why they didn’t edit it out—it wasn’t a live show!

That's it. The show (now better known as "The Christopher Lowell Show") has jumped. I've been fighting it for awhile, but I give up. Every time I watch this show, Christopher finds a way to make me feel inferior. He points out ways that you can make your house look terrible and I realize that's how MY house is decorated. I used to enjoy watching just to see what flamboyant maneuvers Christopher would pull, but now, forget it - he's insulted me one too many times.

( Not that there's anything wrong with it), Christopher's a little to gay.

Christopher Lowell makes me puke. What a horrible, awful, sickening, putrid excuse for a TV host. At least you can laugh at Martha. This guy is just lame.

This is the most fabulous show on television.

This show rocks. I wish it were still live! (See Christopher Lowell Show) The only jump was the change...

Never jumped, but came perilously close the day Christopher made a chair out of a metal garbage can. Interior Motives has been replaced on the Discovery Channel by the "Christopher Lowell Show," which attempts to be a little classier but remains true to the Lowell "You can do it!" decorating ethic. He's the MacGyver of home decorating...he can work wonders with just a glue gun, a few lathing strips, crown molding, and -- of course -- liberal use of fabric and pillows. He's a necessary antidote to Martha Stewart.