Shark Bytes

Keifert:

Thanks for your post dated Jan 4 2009. Well done, indeed! Or, as Master Po from “Kung Fu” might say, “Well done, Grasshopper!” I see that you have learned how much fun it is to goof on Alan Alda and his Oprah’s-ass-sized ego, and still present valid arguments as to why this show went into the sewer after Alda gained creative control! However, on the subject of Womanizing, I believe that I have the Mother of All J*U*M*P*S; so therefore…

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water…

I have returned (part ten)…

Here is YET ANOTHER classic J*U*M*P: the I WANT TO BANG THE VISITING SWEDISH NURSE episode. You remember when the Swedish nurse visited the 4077th (her name was Inga; oh, how original!!). Anyway, Dr. “Don Juan Rico Suave Casanova” Pierce heard of her impending visit and immediately decided that she would be another notch on his bedpost. Inga showed everyone that she was more than just a pretty face and great body and could actually perform her work in the operating room. Afterwards, Margaret Houlihan and “Rico Suave” nearly got into a catfight about his womanizing, chauvinistic attitude; not simply towards the visiting Inga, but all women, for that matter.

Now consider this: who the hell was Margaret “Hot Lips” Houlihan to chastise Dr. “Don Juan Rico Suave Casanova” Pierce about womanizing and chauvinistic misconduct? After “Hot Lips” had welcomed God only knows how many visiting generals, colonels, war correspondents, dignitaries, pizza-delivery boys, etc, into her tent with open arms? And especially after she had dumped Frank Burns to be engaged to a major (Penobscot) whom she had just met in Tokyo while on R and R?

After Houlihan allowed herself to be treated as little more than a sexual conquest for so long, she suddenly decides that it was wrong for Pierce to look at Inga (and women in general) in a similar light…

It was bad enough that Pierce had to morph into “Bill Clinton Jr.” (again)… but even worse when “Hot Lips” Houlihan suddenly morphed into “Holier Than Thou” Houlihan… this episode (written and directed by Alan Alda; go figure!) was a true classic D*O*U*B*L*E J*U*M*P…

When Alan Alda took over. He took the show and made it so that he could preach to us his opinion every week. I liked the show at the beginning, but I'm sorry, listening to some egomaniac telling us what he thinks about a war is not exactly entertainment to me. I hoenstly think that the show should have ended after five seasons. The only episode in the forst five seasons that bothered me was the one where Hawkeye took a half hour to talk about himself.

Smiller - I think I can top you for episodes that show what an arrogant egomaniac Alda became after he gained creative control over this "sitcom." There was one episode where Nurse Kellye suddenly started being rude and mean to Captain "Warren Beatty" Pierce for no apparent reason. When he finally confronted her about this attitude, she admitted that she was devastated by the fact that Dr. "Brad Pitt" Pierce was pursuing all of the nurses except her. She had considered herself worthy of the attention of CPT "George Clooney" Pierce, and she could not accept the fact that he was not pursuing her. What a schmuck this guy was, and what a shame it is that he was allowed to force this self-promoting garbage down the viewer's throats by pretending that he hated war more than anybody else over there.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water…

I have returned (part nine)…

Here is YET ANOTHER classic J*U*M*P: the I’M STRANDED AT THE FARMHOUSE episode. You remember when Dr. “Tony Stewart” Pierce was driving his jeep back to the 4077th and wrecked the jeep and suffered a concussion. He then spent the entire episode talking to the Korean farmhouse family to keep himself from falling into a coma. Well, just what the world needed… half an hour of nonstop talk from an overrated, raving egomaniac like Alan Alda… hell, this Alan Alda ego-fest nearly put ME into a coma…

I can just imagine what the other cast members of M*A*S*H were thinking when they learned of this; especially when they learned that Alan Alda would be the only regular cast member to appear in the entire episode. They probably couldn’t decide whether to fall down laughing or step outside and puke themselves…

“Tony Stewart” might as well have stood on top of a soapbox and spent half an hour screaming, “HEY LOOK AT ME, I’M ALAN ALDA!!” It would have been more convincing and much more entertaining.

Jeep wreck? This episode was a train wreck!!

The show never jumped, it just ran out of content. Margaret went glamorous, Klinger and Potter did one liners, and there was few medical issues in the shows. The sub-plots took over, and the main characters were second to them.

Casey Jones,
I never knew that Alda really served in the army. But I looked it up, and apparently he did. It was for six months as a 'gunnery officer', whatever that is. I never would have thought!

Just wanted to say that "M*A*S*H"...while
it may have had some
periods of time that
were better than others
...still, from start to
finish...was one of the
greatest shows on t.v.

I was on here, earlier...then I went to another show...and just now, I came back to the "M*A*S*H" pages of "JTS".

When I came back here, I found that the post that I had just written was gone.

I'd like to know what happened to it.

As I post this it is christmas eve(joy to the world!) and I'm watching this show on tvland.Naturally it's the first holiday episode and one of the show's classics!To my mind this show only jumped when they did the awful "Afterm*a*s*h" I mean what was that all about?Alan alda's moralizing only occasionally grated.In the past I thought the show jumped when Frank burns was replaced with winchester,But now I think the show actually improved once David ogden stiers received his draft notice.Frank was so one note.It almost jumped when radar split,but they handled it pretty well!To sum it all up (Because this post is starting to become a freakin' novel!)you don't gather a truckload of awards by doing things half-***!Peace On Earth!

Stephi, in the real Korean War soldiers in the US Army were more often white than black. Some brave black soldiers to be sure but many brave white ones as well and there were cowards in both groups (I am not sure where you got your info on the braver bit). And actor/capitalist Wayne Rogers opposed the US in Iraq-- despite Saddam's great cruelty! It was shown in a weblink to be found at sitcomsonline.com that Rogers publicly opposed the action!

Excuse me. "Footage" not "fottage"!

Guest. Alan Alda did serve in the reallife US Army! The North Koreans and Chinese, on another point, were the real, nearly 100% deadly aggressors in the Korean War! This series mostly ignores that (though occasionally US army generals, like one played by Gerald S. O'Laughlin, are shown as good guys)! The show had reallife documentary fottage thrown in a few eps. It was reallife to a degree!

It's cool, there's no hard feelings about any of this. I just love the Hawkeye character, and I recognize Alda as one of the most charismatic, unique actors ever, regardless of him political views (which I mostly identify with).

Geez, people .. take a pill ..

"Alda preached and moralized and never served".

The guy was an ACTOR on a tv show. What do you want from him? And speaking in the context of the show, you don't think that saving human lives constantly, under horrible conditions, is considered 'serving'?