Shark Bytes

Okay, I will admit it, I liked this show. I only watched it because Laguna Beach was such a fucking torture to watch on Tuesday nights. In truth, the whole show had no substance, and at times I got lost in translation with Ashlee babbling in every episode about "finding herself", the whole shtick got all old real quick. I also think the first episode was scripted because thats VERY convenient her boyfriend broke up with her on the second episode (or was that the first episode?), then boom! Ashlee gets "in depth" with her music, dies her hair a very mousy black, becomes more edgier, shuns Jessica in the nicest way possible by writing a song about how she was "living" in her "shadow", and becomes a huge star. It's kinda like you had to feel sorry for her because you knew her parents were bootcamping her ass everyday to make sure her debut record and her show was a success. While I liked the first season, I totally tuned out on the second.

.... Ashlee had a show?

Ashlee Simpson has become the country's whipping girl for some reason. She can sing a lot better than some people who have had hit records. The SNL incident was not that big a deal; most singers lipsync.
There's no way they can jump all over the place and sing as strongly so they use backing tracks. She could have made it better for herself if she admitted it from the beginning instead of blaming her band. Anyway she's pretty young and will make her mistakes. Ugly is ugly and this girl isn't ugly. She was cute before her surgery, and now she's very pretty. She just made some unfortunate hair choices (the super long mullet) and wore ugly clothes and shoes, but she's learned her lesson. Give her a break.

a total IDIOT.

Who the heck would pick "Never Jumpced"???

This show without question jumped from the first episode. It was one of the most laughable "reality" shows ever made, especially considering the talent challenged star.

The same song and dance. The good news is that no one gives a damn about Ashlee anymore. Thank God. With some faith and time, Ashlee Simpson became another obscurity. Anyway, she's a lot uglier now from whatever photos I saw of her after the hair care and nose job. One last thing, the whole "wrong song over the speakers deal" is correct. Let me add that SNL is dead. It's a walking zombie. I can't believe that she blamed her "band" for the lip sync catastrophe. Does she even have a band?

The SNL incident:
-Wrong vocals piped out of speakers. Ashlee embarrased.

The Ashlee Simpson show explanation:
-Ready?
-Part 1: Ashlee has sore throat. Ashlee goes to doctor. Doctor gives bad news. Ashlee can sing... barely. Ashey's voice is bad. Part 2: "Oh my god, my voice is bad!" -Ashlee tries to to sing -Wrong song plays over speakers. -Ashlee blames voice

Um... The wrong song is played over the speakers and you blame your voice? Did Jessica give you that excuse?

This show never jts. It's rare to find a program with the approach this takes. It represents a shift away from the doggerel of mass media towards a more subjective paradigm, using original angles and Cartesian dualism in a freeflowing ether, which is carried effortlessly by the host. To suggest the show (and Ashlee) lack aesthetics and/or talent, is an assertion not worthy of comment. MTV has outdid itself with this masterpiece.

The two-part episode about Ashlee bombing on SNL. Where Joe Simpson and his perverted, incestuous "help" would have been Johnny-on-the-spot for Jessica, there is only a token bit of interest in Ashlee's embarrassment. Then again, if Ashlee had the good sense to tell them to butt out of it, maybe that was a good thing, actually...

This show jumped the moment creepy Papa Joe Simpson thought this would be a better life plan for his youngest than college. Why try to help your kid find herself through higher education and give her genuine options for her life if you can turn her into a freak show/peep show pale imitation of her - admittedly vapid - but prettier and more talented older sister? This show full of the squick factor, even for MTV.

It appear that MTV has done it again for the Simpson family! First, they were able to save Jessica Simpson's crumbling career, and now they have created a new pop "wannabe Avril Lavigne" for the conservative Midwest. The obvious reality is that this show JTS since day one, as unluckily (or luckily enough for us) MTV has failed miserably to actually consolidate Ashlee's foothold in the "world of music" after the SNL fiasco, the Orange bowl disaster, and that travesty of a song named "Lala." Let her enjoy her 15 minutes of fame before she joins her brother in law (Nick Lachey) to the wonderful land of retired media losers.

The difference between this show and "Newlyweds" is very interesting. Ashley's Dad Joe knows that just sticking a camera on Nick and Jessica is pretty much all he needs to do. How they interact with each other no matter what they are doing is entertaining. He realized pretty quickly though that when it came to Ashley this wasn't the case. Ashley and her wussy boyfriend (can't remember his name) isn't entertaining. Thus, the show is about one "event" after another...i.e. moving into a new house, getting going on S.N.L, getting prepared for her Orange Bowl halftime fiasco, etc. And have you how much time is spent throughout each episode of Ashley having one on one dialogue with the camera to set up what's happening on the show? That's a sign of a producer knowing the show is weak, as well as the intelligence ability of the viewers.

I saw this thing a little bit last night. I don't think she is any longer flying on the very limited coat tails of her sister. Now she is staggering through on the momentum of the SNL fiasco. Last night's show, as best I can tell, was about her pants falling down. She really must show her ass one way or another it seems.

I'm forced to watch this show by my friend a lot of times, and my opinion is this: maybe the reason why the show's on this website is because Ashlee Simpson whines too much? She reminds me of Jan Brady from the Brady Bunch. She's always acting like everyone has to feel sorry for her because Jessica Simpson's her sister and that she's not as famous as her. Jessica worked to become a singer, while Ashlee got her "opportunity" handed to her on a silver platter, since her dad pulled a few strings. And am I the only one whose confused by the fact that the family isn't upset with her writing the song "Shadow?" It practically makes herself look like a victim and by listening to the lyrics ...she acts as if her parents and Jessica neglected her or something, but from what I've seen they've been supportive. I know jealousy is a common thing in families and siblings, since I have three older siblings myself, but ...Christ, just give it a rest already. The "pity me" call gets old after awhile and you can only use that as an excuse so many times until people get sick of it. Just because she's famous doesn't mean she has to be pitied and gain sympathy all of the time. Sure, maybe she's a pop idol now, and maybe everyone loves her at the moment, but where will she be ten years from now?