Shark Bytes

HEY, Newlyweds jumped the shark. This is why Nick and Jessica got divorced. They had way too much exposure on TV (I.E. Whitney Houston & Bobby Brown, Carmen Electra & Dave Navarro, Hulk Hogan & Linda Bollea), etc.

They got a divorce in 2006. The show is over! Thank goodness for that! Jessica Simpson got really annoying! There is, however, one thing that I wish that she and her now ex-husband had decided to do. I wish that they had decided to have a kid. Who cares if it would have been as dumb as a cinder block? Also, to all of the people who work for those shameless gossip magizines and the people in charge of the MTV reality shows,how on Earth do you sleep at night? You try to make up excuses about why Jessica's marrige did not wor. Maybe you wrote down that she was cheating on him. Maybe you wrote that he just got bored with her. Heck, maybe you just wrote that she wanted kids and he really didn't. Here's the blunt truth... [drumroll]IT IS BECAUSE THEIR MARRIGE WAS BEING WATCHED BY TOTAL STRANGERS!THEY HAD NO PRIVACY! THEY WERE NEVER TRULY ALONE TOGETHER! THAT IS DEATH FOR A MARRIGE! [tsk, tsk, tsk]

day 1...jessica way over-rated, average blonde at the mall...a real lazy, dumb bunny...though am surprised daddy didn't move in on her after her and nick split up...nick has too much on the ball to have had to deal with these hillbillies from day 1 also!

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If you take the show for its face value, it was an entertaining reality show that brought two young people to the map. Who cares if Jessica was too dumb, it's TV, and it made us laugh!! The show never jumped the shark itself, but it is ironic how the show made the relationship between Nick and Jessica jump the shark, i.e. broke them up... I really liked them as a couple.

I LOVE THE SHOW NEWLEYWEDS!I OWN ALL 4 SEASONS ON DVD! THEY WERE SUCH A CUTE COUPLE IT WAS SO SAD TO HEAR THEY GOT A DIVORCE!

Much like the Osborne's, this show just got too big. Part of the reason the first season was great was because Nick and Jessica acted like a normal couple having interactions that normal couples have (and that normal people have with their friends). After the first season, though, the show became huge and the entire premise became the two of them dealing with celebrity. You could no longer relate to them. The scenes where they were out of the spotlight felt contrived. By the third season, it was basically MTV thinking up stuff for Nick to do while Jessica traveled the globe being "stupid all the way to the bank." It had lost its charm and was never coming back.

I was the 6th post on this thread and will take my bow that I accurately predicted these two idiots would be divorced within 2 years of the start of the show. Hell, you could tell by the 2nd season these two were sick of each other and barely tolerating each other. The 'new year's' episode where they went to Florida to watch the USC game, it was painfully obvious. They barely kissed at midnight, um, there's a sign... I say, bring on "Newlyweds Part 2 - Britney and Kevin", quickly, before she tosses his sorry ass out. (My pick there, Federline is tossed to the curb by April, 2006)

Okay, beat us over the head with Jessica's virginity... I understand that. Britney did the same thing; it works from the morbid curiosity factor angle. But in the episode where Jessica and Nick get married (first episode?), beyond Joe Simpson looking pained about losing his little girl, beyond the whole "I'm gonna do it tonight" whatever, were two sickening scenes: 1) Jessica's MOTHER bragging that she's putting SNACK BASKETS IN THE HONEYMOON SUITE, because she anticipates Jessica getting very hungry! (innuendo, innuendo...) Oh...My...God...(turning green at the keyboard) What kind of mother cheerleads her daughter losing her virginity, especially at Jessica's then-age (22-23)? By then, you're just wondering how she managed to wait, as Nick Lachey is a total P.O.A.! 2) The family-friend reverend going on and on about Jessica waiting, and the special gift she's giving Nick, and how she's special and blah, blah, blah... Jeez, dude, why don't you just have her hitch up her skirt and show the congregation her hymen? Makes you wonder if they followed the medieval tradition and took the bloody sheets from their wedding night and hung them from a banister somewhere... Beyond that, the "Sweetest Sin" video was alternately a laugh riot and icky parental interest. First of all, if you're MARRIED,and it's your HUSBAND you're doing it with, it's NOT A SIN ANYMORE, IN ANY RELIGION!!!! Secondly, Joe Simpson...(I just vomited a little in my mouth...)I agree with all the above posters who think that Joe (and Mrs.) Simpson is just too intimately involved in Jessica's sex life. My parents were aware when I lost my virginity, but they kept their noses out of it, beyond the birth-control and AIDS/STD discussion. I can't imagine how she could be with her busband on camera, even if it was only hugs-n-kisses, and have her daddy up in her business. No wonder Nick was mortified. The JonBenet Ramsey poster above had a point about how the Simpsons continually groom their little Jess for success, even in her marriage. What really does it for me is when they virtually ignore Ashlee, who had a ballet scholarship (!!!), but made her abandon it for Jessica's career. Worse, how they're up Jessica and Nick's rears and just let Ashlee fall on her face on SNL. Whew! Even Brooke Sheilds eventually fired her Mom!

Alright let me first start by saying that i am not a big Jessica or Nick fan or a fan of the Newlyweds for that matter BUT at the first few attacks on them your jokes were so f**king lame! Some girls (me for example) choose to be a virgin til we are married just because we look great doesn't mean we are going to give it up and just because Jessica is a star doesn't mean she has to give it up neither. Some girls decide not to be whores like others. And the fact that you wont burp or fart in front of your husband that you have been married to for however long shows that you just are comfortable enough to do it. I hate to tell you this but that's a natural thing and OMG it is not something you should stop just because you get married if anything he should get over it because he loves you. For those who don't think they have jobs WTF that's what they are doing while you are watching them! they can afford to go on vacation and do stuff like that did you not watch them in the recording studio or making music videos? Ease up people its just a show and quit being so stupid and judgmental!

It jumped as soon as it became evident that Jessica's friend CaCee has the hots for Nick. I think that Nick saw this and this was the real reason that he wanted her gone. I applaud him for this. He is such a good man. CaCee would give her eye teeth to trade places with Jessica. You can just tell by the look on her face any time something good is happening for Jessica. She's jealous of Jessica's career in music and the acting field. All she does is stands by and looks pissed that it's not her up there. I honestly feel that Nick and Jessica were to break up, CaCee would do everything in her power to get Nick for herself. She's a real backstabber. Jessica, watch your back and your husband. CaCee is not a real friend. She's an undercover hater. She would throw your friendship right out the window if she thought that it meant that she could have Nick. Long live Nick and Jessica's marriage. They deserve all of the good fortune that they are getting. 86 CaCee and it just might last.

Never jumped. I love it. I think it's hilarious. Also, hating someone because you envy them just isn't a good idea, I mean what's the point, why put so much effort into hating someone you will never meet? This actually helped Jessica & Nick's careers, well maybe just Jessica's but still. All I have to say is, IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, DON'T WATCH IT

I have been wondering about Nick. Does he have a job? Every show only shows him on vacation or doing some type of fun activity. Vacation from WHAT? And then he complains when Jessica spends money but he can do things like get a studio installed...for WHAT? Not really sure about that...I guess he plans to sing or something. I forget, what is the latest hit by Nick again? and I agree with the previous posters...Jessica's dad is wayyyy creepy.

I don't think this show jumped the shark. I love this show.I think Nick and Jessica are two very sweet people and I don't understand what they do that causes so much hate.Why do these people watch it if they don't like it? Jessica is not dumb-ditzy yes, but there is a difference. She is making millions off her remarks. I have heard her explain things that those around her didn't know like the food that was a dolphin and everybody argued with her and she was right. Also that a Lamb was a baby Sheep. She can't help it if her stupid parents did everything for her but that is no reason to hate someone. Frankly I think she has mature a lot since the first season and she learned to cook. There are lots of stars and just every day people who don't cook-BIG DEAL. Jessica and Nick laugh a lot and that makes me happy.I love the way they get along. Ease up people and don't be so close minded, there is too much hate in this world.

Anyone else noticed there are only 3 things that make Jessica smile/act happy? Looking at her own reflection in any available shiny surface; talking to her equally spoiled dog; spending money. Having been raised to be nothing more than an empty vessel somehow deserving of admiration, her reflection pleases her. Her dog is felt to be an extension of herself & therefore w/o flaws & should not housebroken. Spending money always has a hypnotizing effect on white trash, it sedates & calms them. Yeah, this show is like a wreck on the freeway, you know deep down you shouldn't look but somehow you want to sneak a peek at the possible carnage. The thing is, if you go to to a concert, sporting event or even the mall, you'll see easily 50 females as cute or cuter than the incredibly ignorant Ms. Simpson. This week she's been feeding the dog everything BUT dog food so of course the damn thing has diarrhea & guess who's on cleanup detail? Jessica figures since Nick is around to clean up her sh*t he must be the one to clean up the dog's sh*t. Nick appears to be slightly bewildered at the stagnant swamp his so-called wife uses for a mind, so he is beginning to catch on. Shall we begin to count how many times in each episode Miss Christianity tells her husband "screw you"? Yeah, the entire Simpson tribe is really creepy-the parents pimp both of their daughters for a percentage of the take. Dad does have a definite freak vibe going on when it comes to Jessica. I want the show to stay on for awhile cuz I can't wait to see/hear the next tasteless scene but then again I know Jessica's career will nosedive when it goes off the air & I want that too. So I'm torn. I do enjoy any scene involving food cuz for sure she will start gagging like a 10-year-old when she's asked to eat/taste anything besides Velveeta or sugar. I'm pretty sure the gods of the universe will even things out in the end & the reward will be the news that she is infertile. She's much too vain & shallow to adopt so thank god we won't be subjected to weekly installments of White Trash Mommy Dearest. So hey, Nick, take a good look at the way you traded any shred of dignity for a chance to get in her stinky drawers & run faaast. I know you're in love w/ Jessica but Jessica is in love w/.....Jessica. Now I'm gonna go look for the Ashlee site-don't even get me started on her!